Message Forums
Register  |   |   |  Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment   Page 5 of 10     «   Prev   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   Next   »
darlomark

Registered:
Posts: 279
Reply with quote  #61 
A man suggests to his wife, "Darling, shall we try swapping positions tonight." "That's a great idea," she replies.

"Why don't you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and break wind."

__________________


up the quakers !
darlomark

Registered:
Posts: 279
Reply with quote  #62 
I used to be addicted to swimming but I’m very proud to say I’ve been dry for six years.
__________________


up the quakers !
darlomark

Registered:
Posts: 279
Reply with quote  #63 
I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags.

He's bisatchel.
 

__________________


up the quakers !
darlomark

Registered:
Posts: 279
Reply with quote  #64 
I`m always afraid what women will think when they see me naked for the first time, will they just scream and run out the park :o
__________________


up the quakers !
darlomark

Registered:
Posts: 279
Reply with quote  #65 
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing somebody’s cast.
__________________


up the quakers !
darlomark

Registered:
Posts: 279
Reply with quote  #66 
HAVE YOU GOT SEX INSURANCE .
You can now get sex insurance in the UK so make sure you get correct insurance for the sex you are having . Please find a list of companies below catering for most tastes:
Sex with your wife - legal and general.
Sex on the telephone - direct line.
Sex with your partner -standard life .
Sex with someone different - go compare.
Sex with a lady of generous proportions -more than.
Sex on the back seat of a car - Sheila's wheels.
Sex with a prostitute - commercial Union .
Sex with your maid -employers liability.
Sex with an oap - saga .
Sex resulting in pregnancy - general accident .
Sex with animals - National Farmers Union.
Sex with a monk- Abbey Life
Sex with Navy Officers- Admiral Group.

AND FINALLY
Sex with 5 or people at the same time - confused. Com

Make sure you are adequately covered

__________________


up the quakers !
darlomark

Registered:
Posts: 279
Reply with quote  #67 
Our dog only responds to commands in Spanish

He’s Espanyol.

__________________


up the quakers !
darlomark

Registered:
Posts: 279
Reply with quote  #68 
If you called him in April would he be a Spring Espanyol
__________________


up the quakers !
darlomark

Registered:
Posts: 279
Reply with quote  #69 
It would and when when he drives his Vauxhall he feels cavalier.
__________________


up the quakers !
darlomark

Registered:
Posts: 279
Reply with quote  #70 
I accidentally swallowed some food colouring the other day, 

the doctor says I'll be fine, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

__________________


up the quakers !
darlomark

Registered:
Posts: 279
Reply with quote  #71 
My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm, but I accidentally gave her a tube of superglue,
now she’s not talking to me.

__________________


up the quakers !
darlomark

Registered:
Posts: 279
Reply with quote  #72 
A weasel walks into a bar, the bartender says “I’ve never served a weasel before, what can I get you?”

“Pop” goes the weasel.

__________________


up the quakers !
darlomark

Registered:
Posts: 279
Reply with quote  #73 
My wife discovered I was cheating on her, having found a pile of letters I’d hidden,

she said she’s never playing scrabble with me again.
 

__________________


up the quakers !
darlomark

Registered:
Posts: 279
Reply with quote  #74 
My Spanish friend decided to stop wearing fashionable clothes,

so he’s back to square Juan.

__________________


up the quakers !
darlomark

Registered:
Posts: 279
Reply with quote  #75 
Imagine if Beyonce`s father had been Roy Castle....
__________________


up the quakers !
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.